As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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