Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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