I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
