how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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