i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
