dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
