well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
