I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
