If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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