It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
