its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
