Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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