Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize