We're facebook friends in real life
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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