No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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