Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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