Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
