my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
