hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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