she looked like the before picture.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
