Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
