In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
