I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
