Can Purell be used as lube?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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