I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
