Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
