oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
