dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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