I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
