Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
