i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
