Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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