the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
