Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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