Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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