My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
