apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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