I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
