it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
