there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
