i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
