Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
