Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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