he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
