i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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