The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
