My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
