Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
