You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
