my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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