I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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