watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
