Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
